Published by IVP on October 8, 2024
Genres: Non-Fiction, Christian Life, Parenting
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Family discipleship is one of the most basic ways God has ordained to build his kingdom―and yet most parents struggle to do it consistently.
Amid our busyness, the multitude of different approaches, and our own self-doubts, the deck seems stacked against us. But Brian Dembowczyk isn't here to pile on the guilt or to make us feel like failures. As a parent himself, he knows this struggle firsthand.
In Family Discipleship That Works, Dembowczyk says that the goal of discipling our kids isn't just passing along head knowledge. It's teaching them to act like Jesus. The Bible itself is not just a story but a drama in which we ourselves participate, and our kids have roles to play too. Dembowczyk offers practical advice and a wealth of ideas for teaching our kids to imitate the character traits of Jesus himself as we "act out" the Christian life together.
As parents, we are indeed called to disciple our children to know and act like Jesus. By God's grace, that's a task we can do―not out of guilt but with joy and good hope.
Family Discipleship That Works . . .
Invites parents into more active family discipleship without judgmentalism, but with grace and understanding
Presents "imitating Jesus" as a new model for understanding and enacting family discipleship
Includes practical, achievable advice for parents to live out these principles in their homes
There are lots of family discipleship books on the market, but as the author of this one points out, many of them point back to glory days that never existed, causing modern parents to feel guilty and inferior because they aren’t raising their kids in the faith to the same degree as previous generations of American Christians did. Brian Dembowczyk challenges this perspective by quoting from a wide variety of increasingly dated family discipleship materials that make the very same lament, all the way back to the Puritans.
He says that even though this can seem discouraging, it is also freeing, because people can stop berating themselves for not excelling at a goal that other generations struggled with, too. He encourages parents to rest in God’s love and share God’s love with their children, teaching and training them from a posture of peace instead of letting guilt and anxiety fuel their efforts.
Throughout Family Discipleship That Works, Dembowczyk shares simple, straightforward advice for how parents can conceptualize the process of discipleship and live it out with their children. He focuses on universal themes and essentials, instead of suggesting specific practices, and he uses metaphors from theater to talk about imitating Christ. For example, he says that a lot of life involves improv, and he encourages parents to help their kids develop the mindset and skills to seek God’s wisdom in their particular moments, instead of primarily imparting academic head knowledge that is difficult to apply to aspects of life that the Bible doesn’t explicitly address. Through the theater metaphors, Dembowczyk encourages Christians to see themselves as players in a great drama, and to learn how to live out this story.
Another topic that Dembowczyk explores is the intersection between faith and works. He explains the problems with legalism, which focuses on right behavior above all else, while also challenging contemporary reactions to legalism that end up focusing so heavily on grace that they neglect other parts of the Bible and minimize virtue development and righteous living. Dembowczyk encourages parents to model and teach the Christian faith in a way that honors the connection between one’s faith and one’s works.
This is primarily a vision-casting book that focuses on big ideas and themes, without giving a lot of specific, practical advice. When Dembowczyk does get practical in a direct and immediate way, he mainly focuses on ways to teach the Bible and to represent the full scope of its redemptive story. The appendix includes suggested reading plans that families can use to explore the whole scope of the Bible together.
Family Discipleship That Works: Guiding Your Child to Know, Love, and Act Like Jesus is a great book for parents who feel overwhelmed and uncertain about how to teach their kids about Jesus, or who are looking for new ways to conceptualize the process. This is also a great read for other important people in a child’s life, and the author even directly mentions this book’s relevance to extended family and other loved ones who are helping a child learn and grow. Even though this book’s focus on big ideas and broad applications will disappoint readers who are looking for more practical suggestions and tips, this is a great vision-casting book that offers helpful perspectives and encourages parents to let go of guilt and fear, and to commit to discipling their children in everyday life.